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By rd6B follow rd6B   2019 Dec 3, 10:23am 137 views   6 comments   watch   nsfw   quote   share    

A joke, but a very good one. Goes back to question - what we do if we assume that global warming is real. No "greenie" has answered that.

After our daughter of fifteen years of age was moved to tears by the speech of Greta Thunberg at the UN the other day, she became angry with our generation “who had been doing nothing for thirty years.”

So, we decided to help her prevent what the girl on TV announced of “massive eradication and the disappearance of entire ecosystems.”

We are now committed to give our daughter a future again, by doing our part to help cool the planet four degrees.

From now on she will go to school on a bicycle, because driving her by car costs fuel, and fuel puts emissions into the atmosphere. Of course it will be winter soon and then she will want to go by bus, but cycling through the freezing builds resilience.

Of course, she is now asking for an electric bicycle, but we have shown her the devastation caused to the areas of the planet as a result of mining for the extraction of Lithium and other minerals used to make batteries for electric bicycles, so she will be pedaling, or walking.

Which will not harm her, or the planet. We used to cycle and walk to school too....

From now on she only takes a cold shower. She will wash her clothes by hand, with a wooden washboard, because the washing machine is simply a power consumer and since the dryer uses natural gas, she will hang her clothes on the clothes line to dry, just like my parents and grandparents used to do.

Speaking of clothes, the ones that she currently has are all synthetic, so made from petroleum. Therefore on Monday, we will bring all her designer clothing to the secondhand shop.

We have found an eco store where the only clothing they sell is made from undyed and unbleached linen and jute. Also can’t have clothes made on wool, because the emissions from farting sheep are supposedly causing bad weather.

It shouldn’t matter that it looks good on her, or that she is going to be laughed at, dressing in colorless, bland clothes and without a wireless bra, but that is the price she has to pay for the benefit of The Climate.

Cotton is out of the question, as it comes from distant lands and pesticides are used for it. Very bad for the environment.
We just saw on her Instagram that she’s pretty angry with us. This was not our intention.
And finally, she will no longer be using makeup, soap, shampoo, cream, lotion, conditioner, toothpaste and medication. Facewashers will all be linen, that she can wash by hand, with her wooden washboard, just like her female ancestors did before climate change made her angry at us for destroying her future.

In this way we will help her to do her part to prevent mass extinction, water levels rising and the disappearance of entire ecosystems.

If she truly believes she wants to walk the talk of the girl on TV, she will gladly accept and happily embrace her new way of life.
1   Heraclitusstudent   ignore (2)   2019 Dec 3, 10:43am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

And these vacations in Hawai definitively have to go. Imagine all the CO2 from a jet flying for hours.
We will go camping to Mosquito Lake instead.
2   Ceffer   ignore (4)   2019 Dec 3, 10:49am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Parents are potent sources of plunder because they are blinded by genetic narcissism over their unseemly spawns. Inciting the spawns to Visigoth rages on any pretense is pretty easy and is part of the subversive Progressive spearhead.
3   mell   ignore (4)   2019 Dec 3, 10:51am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Good read. Most people can't even take a cold shower anymore.
4   Onvacation   ignore (6)   2019 Dec 3, 11:33am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Don't feed her and take her smart phone. Tell her she can have the phone back when the danger subsides.
5   HeadSet   ignore (3)   2019 Dec 3, 11:41am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Those are individual items, how about:

No cel phones - hardwire home phones use a fraction of the energy a mobile system uses with all those 100 watt towers

All stores close after sunset. Why waste energy on all that night lighting?

Outlaw overnight product delivery. Nothing will ship until the pallet is full, and will use rail to maximum extent. Rapid truck delivery is energy wasteful.
6   HEYYOU   ignore (46)   2019 Dec 3, 11:46am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

"The world may already have crossed a series of climate tipping points, according to a stark warning from scientists. This risk is “an existential threat to civilisation”, they say, meaning “we are in a state of planetary emergency”. says
All stores close after sunset. Why waste energy on all that night lighting?

I've been asking that question for 50 years.
We need light to maintain the public's security.
Good lighting at night has stopped all night crime.

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